Mental Equivalents II

So, OK, when I’m experiencing fear, loss, lack and limitation, I’m using my ego as a mental equivalent.  I can realize my experience results from my projection, take responsibility and do the inner work to change my mental equivalent, or I can try to change the external ‘reality’ that I think is causing my experience.  Most of the time I do not take responsibility nor do I do the inner work, but simply accept the external phenomenon as real and work to change them.

The ego always speaks first, The Course says.  It speaks first and loudest and never shuts up.  It’s the default, what comes up automatically if I’m not being mindful.  But even being mindful and wanting to change my mental equivalent is not enough to actually change it.  For as long as I try to deal with it in it’s own terms as if it were real, I’m stuck, trapped and imprisoned.  The only way out involves more than being willing to shift mental equivalents, it involves a complete and radical shift in what I take ‘reality’ to be.

The non-ego reality is essentially beyond anything my ego can conceive.  This Reality, of which everyone and everything is a part, is just too big and powerful for my tiny ego to conceptualize.  I am constantly cutting Reality down to the size of my ego so my ego soelf can ‘manage’ it, when what I want to do is believe in It, more than my ego, surrender to It, and be guided by It. 

Haven’t we all experienced moments when we’ve felt this benign, all inclusive Reality, this inner sense of being part of a greater Reality; of bliss and a peace that passeth understanding, of unearned and unmerited grace?

We are able to work with this great and invisible Reality because It embodies and embraces us, is who we really are, is the other side of our human experience.  It is the stuff we and everything is made of, that we pour into the tiny mental equivalents of our egos to form our inner and outer reality.  We can also pour It into mental equivalents that more closely approximate It’s reality by surrendering to It and getting our bloated nothingness out of Its way.